It can be incredibly rewarding but also stressful when it comes to being a parent! It was for this reason we decided to commission some research to reveal what areas of parenting are the most stressful.
According to our research, on average, parents will spend 63,960 hours in their lifetime worrying about their child*, with the below being the most stressful areas:
The top ten areas of feeding parents find most stressful:
1. Financial challenges of nursery (36%)
2. Bedtime routine (31%)
3. Constantly worrying they will hurt themselves (30%)
4. Worried about them being bullied (27%)
5. Making sure they behave in public (22%)
6. Worried they will fit in at school (21%)
7. All stages of feeding (19%)
8. Meal times (17%)
9. The school run (16%)
10. Getting back into a good sleep routine after a holiday (14%)
On top of this 23% of parents said they feel like they worry about their child all the time without a break.
We then decided to look into what areas of feeding parents find most stressful, 54% said making sure they’re getting a good balance of foods was the top stress. While, making sure they’re eating enough (45%) and fear of choking (38%) came a close second and third.
Many also expressed how seeing posts on social media also provided additional pressure, with almost one in five (18%) admitting to feeling stressed when they see ‘insta-perfect’ weaning posts.
Mess was another area of feeding that parents found frustrating. However, it was the Dad’s (36%) that found it more taxing than the Mum’s (34%).
The top ten areas of feeding parents find most stressful:
1. Making sure they get a good balance of foods (54%)
2. Making sure they’re eating enough (45%)
3. Fear of choking (38%)
4. Dealing with a fussy eater (36%)
5. The mess it creates (34%)
6. Thinking of different recipes (34%)
7. Fear of them having an allergic reaction (24%)
8. Stress from seeing insta perfect weaning posts (18%)
9. Cost (15%)
10. How much time it takes (13%)
**We also looked at what regions in the UK have the most stressed out parents:
1. East of England (30%)
2. London (29%)
3. Northern Ireland (29%)
4. South East (27%)
5. West Midland (25%)
6. North West (20%)
7. Wales (19%)
8. East Midlands (19%)
9. Yorkshire and the Humber (16%)
10. South West (11%)
However, the survey also revealed some positives when it came to feeding little ones. More than five in 10 (56%) found feeding time very valuable with one of the main reasons being parents getting to watch their little one’s reach new milestones.
Other reasons included bonding time (51%) and getting to create memories with them (34%).
As part of the campaign, we partnered with early years expert Danielle Manton-Kelly to help provide simple but effective tips for parents on how to make feeding times less stressful.
Discussing stressful feeding times, Danielle Manton-Kelly, said: “Our relationship with food is lifelong, our growth and wellbeing depends on it, and the foundations of that relationship are formed right in these early days.
“It’s vital therefore that parents are given the tools and information to hit the ground running with confidence and calm as soon as the weaning journey begins.”
Mrs Manton-Kelly also provided some of her simple but effective tips below:
- Take a breath
There is science behind the need for calm at mealtimes. If we are stressed, we release hormones designed to help us stay safe – to run or fight. We aren’t designed to digest while we are fighting or fleeing, it’s why we lose our appetites when we are nervous. In order to prepare our bodies for rest and proper digestion we simply need to take a breath – three deep breaths (in for a count of four, hold for three and out for five). Modelling this consistently will help to keep you calm during meal times, and over the months and years your baby will pick this up as a habit themselves.
Try doing this before every meal to get into a habit of creating a calm environment for you and your little one.
- Keep things social
Try to always eat alongside your baby, rather than feeding them separately. Not only will this take the pressure off of the both of you by providing some distraction, your little one will pick up on a vast array of social behaviours while they observe you eating. When we eat together, many things happen socially. Often our breathing calms, we share our day, we smile and laugh, bond and connect. It is important that your little one is also a part of this time each day, experiencing the interaction and taking part in it.
- Let little one’s explore with their hands
Our babies need to work on new muscles and skills such as hand eye coordination in order to eventually use cutlery. It takes time and they definitely won’t do it overnight, so take the pressure off and let them explore with their hands while always having a baby spoon or fork available with their food for exploration. To help with cutlery control and hand eye coordination give your baby opportunities to play with scoops, stampers, cups and other tools in their sensory play. Sand, crushed cereal, rice, foam and water can all provide wonderful opportunities to practice picking up, balancing, moving and putting down actions, so grab a tray, a washing up bowl, paddling pool or even the bath and let them go to work!
- The spoon-fed debate
Try not to get bogged down with the baby led weaning / spoon fed debate – your baby is unique and as their parent, the only one making the rules is you, so go with what suits your baby and your lifestyle. I personally have always used a mix of both methods, allowing my children to explore their food independently, spoon in hand, while also holding one myself ready to get some larger mouthfuls in between their delicate ‘one pea at a time’ moments. Raising your little ones to be ok with both can really help when you’re out and about and need to feed them promptly. Baby led weaning can make parents anxious – again the key here is knowledge preparation so I always recommend taking a paediatric first aid course to understand what choking looks like as well as what to do in a choking situation.
- Preparation is key
Calmness and a positive environment is key when weaning but the mess can be triggering, particularly when the trajectory schema kicks off and the baby wants to throw everything.
The best combat for stress is knowledge and preparation. Arm yourself with weaning knowledge, specifically the importance of calm during meal times and the impact of giving babies the freedom to make mess and explore and then prepare your space for the incoming food rockets that come your way!
I recommend placing a mat or food catcher under the high chair, laying a mess mat on the highchair itself for easy clean ups and grabbing a long sleeved cover all bib. Preparing for the mess in this way can help parents to feel as though they have some control while allowing their baby to fully enjoy the sensory wonderland that comes with weaning.
Methodology
1,000 UK parents surveyed from OnePoll
*Average age is 82.3 from YouGov which equates to 29,930 days and 718,320 hours
32% worried about their child on average 3 hours a day.
3 hours a day
15 hours a week
780 hours a year
780 x 82 = 63,960 hours, 2,665 days in your lifetime spent worrying, that’s 9% of your lifetime spent worrying about your child.
** Taken from those that answered the highest to the ‘worry all the time without a break’ option